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lukeathompson

Writer versus Barbecue

I was meant to be doing a barbecue for Sarah’s parents while they’d all gone swimming, but as I was wheeling out the cooker from the garage it fell apart. It was old and it had been left out in the rain once or twice and it was pretty cheap to begin with. It was just rotten through.


It was already gone 12 (I must have got distracted) but I told myself there was still time to go out, buy a new barbecue and get cooking before they arrived back in thirty minutes.


At Homebase they had discounts on their barbecues and I spotted one that was half price with a smoker attached. I didn’t have time to really think so I just bought it, carried the box out to the car and sped home.


It was now nearly 1pm.

I had hoped the barbecue could be assembled by some magical force, and even when the bags of bolts and nuts and poles and plates and wheels and whatnots clattered out onto the grass, I still told myself, ‘This can’t take more than 15 minutes, can it?’


It could. It did.


Sarah’s parents had got back an hour ago and I’d sat them outside and fed them peanuts and olives while I sweated and swore, misconstructed the barbecue, and eventually burned all the sausages just as my father taught me.


So lunch was off, but the important thing as I see it is that now I can smoke my chilli peppers. The offset smoker will be a fun game for the coming few weeks and I’m going to smoke everything I can get my hands on. Just as soon as I’ve tightened the handles and wheels.


I was growing Jalapenos specifically to smoke them and make chipotle, and while the Jalapenos have been disappointing so far I’m going to smoke all the other peppers anyway. Definitely some Cayennetta and Aji Cristal, probably some Habaneros if there are any left after making sauces. And we've got loads of garlic ready on the allotment...

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